Right now I am feeling frustrated, feeling betrayed and pissed at my body.
But…it was the right decision.
What in the hell are you talking about Harold?
This morning was the Stride Into Summer 5K in Gardiner and I had a Did Not Start due to my hamstring.
Let’s back up a bit.
A couple of weeks ago I strained my hamstring, you know nothing serious and I thought it was just one of those little nagging things that happen, took a couple of days off and felt better.
So I started running again and had over 30 miles for the week.
This past week, I was putting up a welded-wire fence and cleaning out SD2’s yard – pretty normal stuff that doesn’t bother me. After I would get done an go for a run, the hamstring, just didn’t feel right, so I reduced the mileage while working on the fence (too much squatting, bending over and tugging and the hamstring hadn’t completely healed – I guess). Unfortunately, yesterday when I was finishing up, I was in the bed of the pick-up and jumped down facing the tailgate and the ground was slanted down – now that was a mistake.
I immediately felt my hamstring pull – it wasn’t painful or anything, but there was a definite “Oh shit – I shouldn’t have done that” thought. However, it didn’t seem to bother walking around or anything and didn’t bother me when I walked Bennie for his walk this morning.
It was raining and right around 50. Which – (I know I am weird) I love to race/run in. I have had my best runs on days like this, so I was looking forward to having a good run.
Unfortunately, after warming up, I jogged over to Hannaford (about 1/2 mile) to use the rest room, I could feel a definite pulling in my left hamstring. Nothing big, but coming back, it didn’t get any better and if anything felt worse. Crap!!!!
This wasn’t a good sign.
Yes, believe it or not I was listening to my body.
Knowing me and how I actually am, not that carefully crafted persona, who is rational and in control all the time – the real me. I knew that if I started the race, that I would do my best and push through the discomfort/pain to finish well. So I did a few strides at race pace on the boardwalk.
Shit, not good.
If I raced, there wasn’t any doubt in my mind that it wasn’t going to be good.
I saw a few people I knew, said hi, gabbed for a minute or two and started to warm-up again – nope, no way in hell was I going to run without screwing-up my hamstring – bad.
At that point I decided to go to registration, turn in my number and withdraw from the race.
Boy, did that suck donkey balls!
This was the first time that I have ever withdrawn from a race, after putting on my number, due to a physical issue and it sucked – big time.
Now I probably should have stuck around, cheered everyone on, taken photos and enjoyed being around other runners. However, at this point I was too frustrated with myself to be around other people. I just needed to get away from the race and everyone else. I was pissed, feeling betrayed by my body and frustrated because I really wanted to run this race.
I wasn’t in the mood to put on the “good face” and be around anyone.
When I am in that kind of mood, it is better to just be by myself, until I work through the negative shit and can get back to the positive person I usually am.
I drove off.
Yes, I know that I made the correct decision to withdraw and not run the race, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.
It does mean that I will actually go through and re-hab this injury correctly, instead of the half-assed stuff that I was doing up until today. If nothing else, this did not start is good motivation for that.
Also, no jumping out of the f-ing truck bed!
This is the part of getting older that is hard for me.
Not healing as fast as I used to.
Injuries happen whether you are a runner or just in life and luckily I have always healed fast and/or been able to tough out running through discomfort or pain. I can still do the run through discomfort pretty good, but the healing just isn’t the same, so I need to be smarter about the little niggles, so they don’t become bigger issues.
All I can say is – Ahhhhh shit – this sucks, time to move on and get this hamstring back to where it belongs.
This is why I blog, I do feel better after getting my frustrations out and where I can see them.
Now to get back to running and blogging – yes I missed blogging this week :-).
Did you ever have a Did Not Start for a race, after you pinned on your number, how did you feel and what did you do?