Going Backwards to Move Forward

Okay, sometimes I am an idiot, but really I attempt to do some things to improve my running. Like even when I find a running shoe that works great for me, I still go looking on the other side to see if the next “great” shoe is just a little better.

It often gets me in trouble.

This week my right foot has been giving me issues in all the road shoes I have been running in since my injury while walking or running. Except for the pair of old running shoes that I had “retired” to being lawn shoes. Well I mowed the lawn and the frontage along the road in those old lawn shoes again this week and guess what…they didn’t bother my right foot.

Mmmm Houston what is going on?

Getting back to today’s run. This morning I drove into Waterville to do a little longer run planning to wear my current primary road shoe. I brought along my lawn shoes to put on after the run, that old gotta change out of the hot, sweaty mess I become after a hot July run. However, just driving the 20 minutes to the Planet Fitness parking lot my right foot was not comfortable.

I got out of the truck frigged around with my socks, but each time the foot didn’t feel right. At that point I wasn’t going to run 7.0 or so miles knowing that my right foot was already feeling discomfort from the shoes.

Yep, just a bit frustrated!!!

I was getting back in the truck and was going to bag the workout and go home to sulk. When I remembered that I had my old lawn shoes with me. They looked like crap, from mowing the lawn several times in them, but hey they couldn’t feel any worse than the other shoes did.

I put on my old New Balance Beacon v1 with over 300 miles on them.

Yeah, the Beacons.

It was almost as though when I put them on my foot relaxed and began to loosen up. The first mile was a bit tough, they do have a different gait than my Salomon’s, but after that I figured things out. Once I did the foot was happy and didn’t complain the rest of the run!!!

My pacing without really pushing the effort level was sub-9:00’s even with the temps at Fred’s Coffee saying it was 83*F in the sun, while when I was able to find shade, it was much nicer with a good breeze.

I did have to pit stop at the Colby Fieldhouse and while in there got a drink of water, which helped a lot on how the body was feeling.

The only thing that I didn’t like was at about 4.0 miles there was this sound like someone was coming up from behind me. I had just finished coming up the hill from Colby heading towards McDonalds, so I figured that it was one of the Colby students getting ready to fly by. I may have picked up the speed a little to hold them off.

It was really strange though because whoever it was was holding steady right behind me or so I thought. So at that point I looked back and no one was there???? WTFO is going on here???

I stopped for a second to look around and no one was there. A bit creepy to say the least!!!

I started running again and after about 10 steps the sound like someone was behind me again. I stopped and looked back and no one was there. Really creepy.

I began again and kept running and the sound was back. At that point I figured it was something in the waist pouch I was wearing bouncing around and stopped worrying about it. It kept up all the way to the Lincoln Street Hill, where I stopped because it was bugging the hell out of me and took the belt off to see in the world was bouncing around like that.

The running belt was in my hand and I took a step and the sound happened when stepped off again. It was the outsole of the shoes making a suction cup kind of sound when I would take a step.

Weird as hell!!!

The Beacons did this the rest of the way to the finish, it was annoying, but with how great my feet were feeling, I am not going to complain about something as minor as an annoying sound being made during my run. However, the old body by the time I got back down on First Rangeway was getting tired and even though I know that it has more of hill than you think, I slowed down pretty good on it.

Yeah, the heat and first time back to this distance kind of got me towards the end.

However, my right foot by the end of the run was very happy and not complaining about being uncomfortable or hurting from having to run through discomfort to finish a run. I have a sneaking suspicion that the Beacons will stay unretired for a while.

All I know is that it felt damned good to be able to run without discomfort or pain in that right foot for the first time in over a month. I didn’t bother to change shoes, the hot, sweaty mess on my feet was more comfortable than putting back on the other shoes.

Good run and yeah, sometimes you gotta go backwards to move forward.

I have a feeling that a pair of Beacon 2s will show up next week as a birthday present from Bennie, now to figure out if the old Beacons will last until August 6th. I think they have another 100 or so miles left in them. If not…well we will see. 😉

Stress Fracture Update #1 – RunLog 6/12/19

Okay, it has been a week since I hurt myself running and I thought that I would do an update on how things have been going, what I have been doing and most importantly what I have been thinking about.

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Other than not running – which sucks donkey balls…of course.

Things have been pretty positive and I haven’t gone into a deep, dark depression about not being able to run, just because I know that I can’t. No amount of whining, pissing or moaning about it will change that fact, so I have accepted it as the way it is.

The other good news is that the wife has not kicked me out of the house as yet, the dog still wants to be around me and the activities of daily life continue on, despite my inability to run.

I know that I am very lucky the stress fracture was not severe enough that I am not able to walk on it or else I am so used to things hurting that it is just another damn thing to ignore. I can’t tell which sometimes, but at least I didn’t have to get out the big plastic walking boot and skip around in that for a couple of weeks. Phew!!!

The doc knows me too well, when I called on Monday, yeah I did this last Wednesday, the office staff asked if I was still walking on my leg, when I told them I had mowed the lawn and chipped wood despite the leg hurting a bit, they just chuckled – like I said they know me. When I explained what happened and how the leg felt, the doc asked a bunch more questions (which I answered honestly) and she agreed with my self-diagnosis.

At that point, the doc basically told me that if it started to hurt more to call back to come into the office or if they couldn’t get me in in a timely manner to go to their express care in Waterville.

She did tell me:

  • that if I tried to run now I would be risking a total break, so don’t run, jump or twist. When it starts to hurt – stop.
  • Expect it to become a dull ache that just doesn’t go away for a while – she was right
  • that X-Rays would be a waste of time since they wouldn’t show anything at this time
  • it would be at least 6-8 weeks before I should even think about running – in other words, let the damn thing heal

So really I am very lucky – I can still walk on my leg, be somewhat active and the sharp pain that was so evident last Wednesday through Friday has subsided into a dull ache when I am good and increases the more I misbehave. I also have a great and very unsympathetic warning system in place that is working to keep me from being too stoopid.

My ice pack has gotten a lot of use, but I have been able to stay away from aspirin or other pain killers since if it doesn’t hurt a little I would be tempted to overdo it too much.

Since I hurt the leg, I have allowed myself to rest more than usual, not worry about what I put down the pie-hole and just relax a bit. In other words not stress-out about not being able to run and dealing with the dull ache that is a part of recovering from a stress fracture.

However, I have been busy thinking about what happened, how I ended up with a stress fracture in my tibia, how I can prevent it from happening again, yet keep running. I won’t bore you with all that stuff in this post but will write about it later.

I am fairly certain that more than a little of the reasons for the injury had to do with my training, ramping up my speed too much and the style of shoes I was wearing.

So I have been:

  • thinking more about what I want from running going forward
  • reading about what I need to do to recover from a tibial stress fracture
  • been re-reading my training books to figure out the direction I will be going after I can start running
  • looking closely at my training logs
  • got a new pair of running shoes that have a bit more structure and are supposed to dampen the vibration on the tibial region. Getting them now will give me a chance to walk a bit in them to get them broke in for when I am ready to actually start running again.
  • eat better
  • not run.

The reality is that

I am lucky.

Very lucky.

I am still able to walk and do most of the things that I need to do around the house despite having a stress fracture in my lower left leg. It is a more a question of pain tolerance and management.

No walking boot, no questioning the doc’s diagnosis, no non-compliance issues to speak of and knowing that I cannot run make the no running fact that much easier and a lot less stressful for me.

Sometimes things happen for a reason and this injury has forced me to actually stop, be realistic about my running versus the usual lip service that I tend to give it and then go on to do exactly what I have always done before. You know that do the same things and expect different results.

That definition that I tend to exemplify all too much.

My body is changing as I am getting older and as much as I don’t want to change my running all that much, if I want to keep running for the next 20 years or more, I will have to change a few things.

So I have taken steps to figure out why and what I need to do to make sure that I don’t repeat the injury again.

Now to just do it.

I am Getting Old & Progression Run – RunLog 6/5/19

This morning was brought to you by surprise great weather, applying for something that I never thought that I would get to do at many points in my life and even though I am still feeling like I have to force the issue, getting out the door for a run on…drumroll, please.

Global Running Day

Okay GRD is not a national Holiday or anything all that important, but it is the day that the running community seems to get their collective behinds moving and head out to get a run in. Yeah, a really great thing, so Twitter and Facebook had a lot of discussion and comments about it.

Congrats to all of you who ran on Global Running Day. 🙂

Which meant that after running a bunch of errands, I went over to Planet Fitness (the Town was working on the dirt road down-back) and got ready for an outdoor run. Also, I did something that I haven’t before, I planned on running in the Nike Zoom Fly two days in a row.

Which was an experiment to see how they worked on a planned recovery run?

The first mile was forcing the issue, clearing the lungs of more crap and just making myself run. After that, I started feeling better and decided to just let myself run according to how the body was feeling.

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Which in my Zoom Fly v1s was faster than I should have. More on that in a minute.

Mile 2 was a bit quicker and mile 3 was even faster, so as I was coming back up Leighton Road I decided to take a left and head up towards Commerce Dr. At this point I figured that I would pick up that cadence a bit to see if I could maintain it for the full 5.0 miles.

Mile 4 was a bit quicker, but I also felt a little tugging on the front of my left lower leg along the outside of the bone. Nothing that hurt, but something I noticed. I love to run a fast last mile along this course, so I picked up the pace a lot (for me at this point) and pushed it to 5.0 miles.

After that, I relaxed a little coming back up to Planet Fitness. It was a really good progression run, but that is not the run that I needed or was supposed to do today and I paid for it.

My left leg is pretty sore tonight, it almost feels like a bad case of shin splints in that lower leg. I attribute this to running faster (for me remember) in the Zoom Fly two days in a row. I do run differently in them and definitely have a more pronounced toe push-off with these shoes when I run faster.

When I pull up the foot tonight, the lower leg talks to me, where if I let it relax, it doesn’t bother as much. Ice is my friend tonight.

Actually it was a really good run, but one where I got greedy and it bit me square in the arse. I have learned the hard way that the Zoom Fly is a great go faster shoe for me, but when I wear them the problem is that I want to run faster in them. Which ain’t a great thing on a scheduled recovery run.

I have a feeling that if I had worn a different pair of shoes this morning, that my leg would be fine tonight because I would not have been tempted to have run the progression run that I ended up doing.

This will probably keep me on the shelf a few days, but it was a good lesson learned and I know that I need a pair of running shoes for recovery days that do not entice me to run faster than I am planning on. That old lack of self-discipline thing and thinking that I am still in my twenties got me again.

Speaking of something about aging…I applied for Social Security and had to go to their office this morning to drop off some paperwork. Unfortunately, it was too soon after creating my account and application, the local office hadn’t received the information in their computer system yet, so they asked me to call them next week to check on whether I needed to bring in the documents or not. They were very nice about things, but there is going to be a LOT of hurry-up and wait going when it comes to working through this process.

Not that I didn’t expect this and is why I started the process sooner than later. It gives me time to correct, sit in their office when necessary, keep the stress levels lower and not have a time crunch to get things done.

A good run, starting the eligibility process for Social Security and great day, what more could I ask for? Mmmmmm being in my twenties again hehehehee.

You Gotta Show Up – RunLog 5-19-19

Congratulations to all those runners who competed and/or completed their race at Sugarloaf this morning. No, I didn’t go, I am still in my non-racing funk, but I knew more than a few runners in both the 15K and the Marathon. Each runner had their own story to tell and the biggest thing is that they trained and then showed up.

Which is the biggest thing – many times just showing up is the difference. All those could’a, should’a, would’a that we all think about after not doing something, that we would’a, should’a and could’a – well they are going through my mind right now.

A lot.

One of the guys I have been running with lately – Jon, ran it this morning. He did amazing finishing 3rd in our age group in the 15K, only 5 weeks out from knee surgery. Needless to say he is a much better and mentally stronger runner than I will ever be. So a big congratulations to him on a great performance.

Along with several runners I know who punched out their BQ qualifying time. 🙂

Getting back to the running log.

The last few days, I have had a bad case of the blahs, not feeling like doing a whole lot and having to force myself out the door to run or just do stuff around the house. So looking at how Jon and some others did, helped to motivat me to get off my arse and get moving this morning. I had seriously considered taking the day off from running.

I was scheduled to do an 11.0 miler, but I only needed 9 miles to hit 40 for the week and it seemed like a perfect day to do a 15K training run. Actually the weather was about as good as it gets for me, low 50’s, light rain and a bit of a breeze. I wanted to see what kind of time a normal for me training run would get in comparison to the Sugarloaf 15K results.

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Yeah, I know could’a, should’a, would’a.

I also wanted to see how the Zoom Fly v1 did on a “normal”, but longer training run at a slower pace. One where I was not purposely attempting to pick up the pace all that much.

The first 3.0 miles were at an easy pace, just to get rid of the cobwebs, blahs and crap. Once I got out to Goodhue, I started to feel a bit more like me and naturally picked up the pace going down towards the Pond Road and stayed about the same pace until I got over to Bartlett, where the hill in the photo got my attention pretty damn quickly.

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I did see another runner coming down the hill, which is unusual for me to see any runners over that way. I kind of wonder if it was one of the local runners I follow on Strava, I didn’t get a good look at the face, because I was working hard on simply getting myself up that damn hill. We greeted, smiled and kept moving.

Coming back down the other side of Bartlett I picked the pace up a little and then once I got back on the dirt road I slowed things down. The Zoom Flys did great on the wet roads, but on wet dirt…well let’s just say I made it back to the tar without any misadventures.

Now the Sugarloaf 15K course is a fast one and many a PR has been set along it by other runners, which is great, but that is not the couse I ran today. My Pond Road Loop course is a bit more challenging shall we say, but nothing crazy.

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That being said, I would have a feeling that I would have done alright based on comparing my time this morning to the race results. That is if I had shown up for “that” race this morning. Which does help my confidence levels and leaves me wondering even more about getting off my arse and doing a few races.

Oh yeah, the Zoom Flys did just fine at the slower paces, I ran this morning, which reinforces the idea that I could probably use them as trainers if I wanted to.

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In running races it is all about running with and competing against those that do show up. I don’t show up to races, so I can only talk about what might have bee. The truth is that I don’t attempt to challenge myself very often, to get out of my comfort zone and see how I compare to other runners, both my age group and others. It is a demon that I haven’t quite gotten the best of yet.

Now to work on that part of the equation.

All I know is that running with Jon is starting to pique my interest in actually showing up once or twice at some point.

Right now I have a bad case of could’a, should’a and would’a…

and you know something I am good with that.

However,…let’s add in – for now.

A Pretty Good Tempo Run – RunLog 5/16/19

Yesterday was a rest day, I think that mentally I needed the rest more than physically. I find that when I get a longer running streak (for me) going it become more an head thing and while had a 25 day running streak going. It was time for a day off.

Today – No rain, decent temps – well at least I was able to wear shorts/t-shirt, while there was a bit of a breeze going out, it was almost on my back coming back and a little/lot of partly cloudy. Pretty nice day for running actually.

I wore the Nike Zoom Fly v1s and they just let me cruize at faster speeds than I usually do at this effort level, which is nice. Yes, I do believe that they change my stride slightly and in turn make my running a bit more efficient. Not something that I say lightly, because shoes are an X factor when it comes to running and shouldn’t make that big of a difference when I run, but my leg swing is different in the Zoom Fly v1 than any shoe I have run in a while.

Why do I say that?

Today was a scheduled 3 mile tempo run and I had planned on doing 7.0 miles total, with 1.0 mile warm-up and then each mile after 3.0 doing a body check to see how things were holding up and then shut it down if there were any complaints that the bodys was making. I wanted to get my faster paces into the 7:40s, but I was not going for anything faster.

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First Mile was just getting things in gear and even though most of it is on the dirt road, I was pretty shocked when I saw the time at the mile mark.

Mile 2 was pretty much into a 10 mph headwind and I wasn’t quite ready to start pushing the pace all that much

Mile 3 was still into that same breeze and my playlist had gotten to the race music, so I was picking up the pace without really pushing the effort all that hard

Mile 4 I got to the end of Tiffany and turned around and started downhill and the wind was mostly at my back all the way to the finish.

Mile 5 I did pick up the pace for what I figured would be the last faster mile, I was getting tired and my left lower quad was starting to complain a bit more than usual, so I knew that it was going be a 2.0 mile cool-down at that point.

Mile 6 Nice slower pace

Mile 7 I might have picked up the pace a little for the home to top of the hill, just to see how the quad felt (no issues) and if I could get close to the segment time.

I ended up with a pretty good 5K and even though I slowed down quite a bit during mile 6 I still had a good 10K time. I didn’t get the segment but I came pretty close to getting it at the end of a 7.0 mile run, which is good.

It was one of my better tempo runs, but I do have to do some quad work I have a feeling with the way the Zoom Flys are allowing me to run.

Also I have to put a new 500 gb SSD into my Lenovo Thinkpad 230T, it won’t be all that difficult, I just have to get around to doing it, before the old hard drive dies, so that I can clone the drive versus starting from scratch again. Now to do it. 🙂

Track Tuesday – RunLog 5/7/19

Okay, bear with me whilst you listen to the old fart whine, piss and moan about my track workout this morning. The good news is that I did it, the bad news was that it didn’t resemble a whole lot, what I had scheduled.

It was a pretty view this morning from the top of the hill looking out over the Kennebec River Valley to the hill beyond.

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Let’s back up my whining for a minute and think things through about this morning.

  • First Bennie walk – check
  • Second Bennie walk – check
  • Go get steel wagon wheels for Mary’s Mother’s Day present – don’t worry – it ain’t much of surprise – checkIMG_3773
  • Get mounting hardware at Abuchons – check
  • Get a brilliant idea about going over to go run on Colby’s track – errr WTFO you haven’t run all that fast outside this year and planned on doing your speed work on the comfort of the treadmill Harold. What orifice did that idea come out of?

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I had been thinking about doing my speed work session outside today for a couple of days, although I had really planned on either the Benton Trail or the Rail Trail in Augusta, both of which have markers every quarter mile. It would have been easing into speed work outside and not have the pressure that put on myself whenever I do a formal track workout.

However, while I was riding over to the Fairfield Antiques Mall, I got to thinking that I really wanted to try out the Zoom Flys on the track to see how they were.

So after picking up the steel wagon wheels at a nice discount, I headed over to Colby.

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Today’s workout called for 6 x .50 at 5K race pace, with .25 recoveries with a mile warm-up and cool-down.

Okay here is what I actually did:

  • 1.40 warm-up – I needed to use the gym for a few minutes – yeah potty break time.
  • 1.0-mile time trial at 80-90% effort, with 400 recovery
  • 2 x 800, with 400 recoveries
  • 4 x 400, with 400 recoveries
  • 800 – recovery

About the only thing I got close to correct was the .25/400 recovery laps. Doing that mile half arsed time trial seemed to take way too much out of me compared to how it should have at the pace I finished. The 800s just felt way too hard for the pace, so I stepped it down to quarters after only two completed. The 400s felt pretty good, but I certainly didn’t push all that hard and could have done better.

That is the thing with running circles around a track, there is no hiding from the distance/times you run. They are, exactly what they are.

Oh well, shit happens and I will get better – as LONG AS I DO THE WORK.

What did I accomplish?

Actually, I accomplished a lot when I look back at what I did run on the track this morning and figured out a few things today that I had been wondering about:

  1. I didn’t injure anything, which was a big deal! The track and I have a history of taking out hamstrings, calves and Achilles tendons, so that is a positive sign to run faster than usual and still have those none the worse for wear.
  2. I am slower outside mostly because I have to focus on running fast and maintaining the pace, whereas on the treadmill it is more of only having to keep moving the legs to keep up to the motor. On the track, you are the motor.
  3. That running outside is very different from running on the treadmill – when did you figure that out, Harold??? About the first time, I came around turn 3 and 4 and the gentle breeze tugged ever so caressingly at my t-shirt. Yeah, while it wasn’t a gale force wind, it was enough that I worked a little harder from that point to the end of the lap on each lap.
  4. Running on the treadmill has helped with my fitness, but the efficient treadmill stride that I have developed is different than the stride I need to run efficiently outside, especially when I am running faster. That gotta lean a little goes a long way outside and all it accomplishes on the treadmill is bouncing my hands off the heart-rate monitor bar.
  5. The Zoom Flys were very comfortable until the 5th mile. Then the bottoms of my feet seemed to “heat up” a little. I did notice their extra cushioning a lot more than I have in other shoes that I usually run in on the track and will probably dig out a pair of Adidas Adios 3’s or even my Reebok RunFasts next track session to see if there is a difference in how I run on the track in them versus the Zoom Flys.
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  7. I am thinking that the Zoom Fly v1 is more of a fast trainer or longer distance (than I usually race) than an actual 5K to 10K racing shoe for me. They felt very soft on the track and I think that v2 might be more of a racer for me than v1, with its carbon plate and React midsole.
  8. The worst thing that I noticed about the Zoom Flys today was that the shoelaces were too damn long. They kept whipping against the inside of the other leg and were a distraction that I did not need while I was attempting to run faster than usual.

The reality is that

Running on the track is something that I need to make a regular part of my weekly routine and add in a mile time trial about once a month.

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I actually like running in circles and it brings me back to a different time and place in my running. Not that I am all that fast or anything, but there is a certain amount of self-discipline that is necessary to run fast and hit the paces that I want on a track that I do not get otherwise.

There is an also the matter of accountability when running on a track, you know the times you are supposed to hit for the pace you want run. There is no fudge factoring, no motors to assist you and you can’t just zone out, at least I can’t. I have to focus on my stride and form in order to run the laps well.

For me, even as old as I am, when I step on the track, it is time to get serious and while I can’t keep up with the “Big Boys and Girls” anymore, I do run faster than I would otherwise. Now I just have to be willing to dip into the hurt locker every so often and not sound or look like a dying fish sucking for oxygen at the end of a hard lap or two.

Big goal by the end of the summer a sub 6:00 minute time trial. I know that I have the speed to do it, now to work on the stamina part. Definitely, something to shoot for and will require a lot of hard work on my part.

Good Long Run – RunLog 5/5/19

Ahh, the weekly long run…I finally got one in after a few too many weeks away from it. This morning’s run was kind of up in the air until the last minute and Mary said that she had to do some errands in Waterville, which made up my mind which direction to go.

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Actually, once I got going, it was the correct direction, the sun was out, temps were in the high 50’s and a nice 5-10 mph breeze right in my face just about the entire way. I think that the breeze actually helped towards the end of the run, I wasn’t overheated like I normally would be in this kind of weather and felt good all the way through to the end.

I started out a little faster than I wanted, (what a difference comfortable shoes make when you just want to run) and purposely slowed down the next couple of miles. Then when I got to Goodhue I managed to pick up the pace a little and hold it for most of the rest of the run.

Although I did slow down a bit once I got over on 10 Rod Road, between going up a long slow uphill section and the breeze in my face, I just sort of slowed down and then did a good job on the last mile and half.

Good long run and the pace felt pretty comfortable for that distance and I could have run a bit further without any issues.

Although while I was waiting for Mary to pick me up, I saw ambulances, fire trucks and police vehicles converging on the road out front of Thomas College. I had to walk up to make sure that it wasn’t Mary in an accident (yeah, you always assume the worst).

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When I got up to the end of the road, somehow a pickup truck had managed to demolish the softball field dugout. I am not sure how the driver managed to do it? I was glad it wasn’t Mary

Overall, I was very happy with how the Epic Reacts did on the run and how I felt during the run.

 

This Was My First Day of Spring – RunLog 5-4-19

Yeah, today actually felt like Spring, the wind didn’t have that chilliness to it that it has had. When the chill is not felt in the breeze that is when I consider it Spring, not some arbitrary date on the calendar.

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Today was e-waste disposal day over at the Augusta Civic Center and when I got there at 11:00a the line was outside of the parking lot and I was warned that they might close down the line at any time since they were almost at capacity. Luckily I made it through, gave a $20 contribution and got rid of all that stuff in the photo yesterday. It looked like they closed the line down about 5 vehicles behind me and were turning away some, so I just barely made it.

Since I was already in Augusta, I decided beforehand to head down to the Kennebec River Rail Trail and planned on an easier 5-6 miles.

When I started there was this bright, shiny thing in the sky that sort of blinded me if I looked straight at it. Yeah, the sun was out and felt good.

I wasn’t planning on running fast, so I wore the Karhus and while I like them, my right foot doesn’t like them all that much. They did fine through mile 3-4, but after that my right foot started to bother and by the time I got done it didn’t hurt, but how they felt was a big distraction and if I had continued running, it would not have been fun.

Other than that the run was comfortable. I was able to accidentally cop a couple of segment record, without trying and did feel like I was pushing the effort level except for when I went up the little hill to Capitol Park by the YMCA. I did pick up the pace a little, but not really a hard push, so I was surprised at how well I did.

Sometimes it is not how hard you run, but how comfortable you feel during it. Today, while my effort level was about where I wanted it to be for an easy run, I was not comfortable due to how my foot felt. I am not sure why the Karhu’s felt like they did after only 3 or so miles, but I think it has something to do with the taper of the forefoot and how the side presses my metatarsals together. All I can say is that the fit of the shoe does not seem to get along with my weirdly shaped foot (thanks to a tailor’s bunionette).

Too bad, but sometimes it is the way it goes. I can still use them as walking shoes, but as far as using them for recovery runs, it doesn’t look like they are going to be part of the solution.

Doing the Tempo Run I Missed – RunLog 5-3-19

As the old saying goes, “life goes on” and so it does.

While I am still concerned, worried and all that other stuff about Dad, but life does indeed go on and I purposely went about my normal routine today. Which kept me busy and my mind focused on other things.

While I had a faster than expected workout yesterday, I didn’t really do the tempo run that was called for in my training plan and had actually planned on swapping out the tempo run to today before I went up North.

However, the weather outside was low 40’s and raw. I didn’t feel like dealing with those temps while running faster for a longer period. Now I wasn’t going to do anything stoopid, I was planning on a mile warm-up, three miles at what I think my half marathon race pace might be and a set of 5 strides at a fast for me pace.

What did I end up doing?

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  • 1.0-mile warm-up. A little faster than usual, but still an easy pace.
  • 2.0 miles at my hoped for half marathon race pace. I ran comfortably at this pace and felt like I had plenty left, so I decided to increase the pace a little more for the last mile.
  • 1.0 mile at a little faster pace, even at the faster pace I still felt really good and seriously thought about doing one more mile, but I am attempting to stay pretty close to the training plan and let it go.
  • .1 recovery and then on to the fast for me strides
  • 4 x .10 strides at a faster than 5K race pace. They did feel good, although the left ankle had to snap on the first one and after that everything felt fine.
  • .3 cooldown

It was a nice workout and one that I have completed successfully before, so I was pretty confident going in about how it should go. I did wear the Nike Zoom Fly again and they did just fine. Although the right foot was starting to complain just a tiny bit after 5.0 hard miles on the treadmill. Which is not all that unusual for me.

They do fine outside, but I have a feeling that they are going to be 6.0-mile shoes on the treadmill. Not a bad thing, but not quite up to the standard that the Beacons made for me on the treadmill.

Overall a good run and one that I was happy with.

This afternoon I went out in the back of the garage and rounded up a lot of the old electronic stuff that we had been storing out there.

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Tomorrow is e-waste disposal day in Augusta and it was time to weed through the stuff that either doesn’t work or it is simply time to get rid of them since we will never use them again.

If the weather ever gets decent for a more than a couple of days, I am going to clear out the garage and get the mess in there under control. Something we haven’t done for a few years and is badly needed.

Another of those busy days.

 

 

 

Processing A Lot of Suff – RunLog 5-2-19

Forgive me I go off on more than a few tangents, rabbit holes and off the wall shit for the next few days, but I have a lot to process and while it is just a normal part of life, it doesn’t make what I am thinking about any easier. My writing will be my meager attempts to sort things out in my own head, so please bear with my disjointed thinking and writing process for a while.

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I plan to keep running, because it does ground me and helps me deal with what is going on and more than likely what is going to happen sooner than later.

Death and dying are a part of the human existence and always will be, human beings are given a certain amount of time on this little blue marble, we all die when that time is up and nobody really knows what is on the other side of death.

No, I am fine and hopefully have many years left on this little marble we call Earth.

I visited my father today and he is not doing well.

Writing this on here sucks since it makes me stop, face the fact and reality that more than likely – in the near future my father will no longer be here.

He looked bad today, his lips are purple and he is on oxygen, he had difficulty walking from the house to the truck, didn’t eat like he usually does and I thought I was taking him to the hospital versus going home when he stopped three times leaving the restaurant.

However, he seemed to rally once he got in the truck and we talked – a lot on the way back to his house.

I have gone to some of his doctor appointments, seen him in the hospital too many times and know how bad his medical issues actually are. We usually talk pretty openly, bluntly, honestly about his health issues and death and dying over the past few years.

That being said Dad went to the doctor’s office last week and while he wouldn’t really tell me what they told him, other than he said that his lungs “are shutting down” and if you add that onto his reduced heart function…well Dad said the prognosis ain’t good and whatever will happen sooner than later.

Dad has died and been brought back to life 3-4 times over the past 15 years, so he isn’t scared of the dying part, he is more worried about how we (his children and grandchildren) will react to his death. As he said today, he has lived a full life and it is now just a matter of when and how soon – not if.

As he said to me this afternoon. “It is what it is.”

While I have known this day has been getting closer intellectually for a while, however, it still is something that smacks you upside the head as you get to where he is saying he is probably dying soon and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Other than to wait for it to happen.

Please don’t get me wrong, I will miss him more than anyone will ever know, but at the same time, I know that he is starting to suffer and his present conditions are starting to impact his quality of life more and more.

My father is a very prideful man and does not want to be a burden on anyone, so this is doubly hurtful to him. He is still very lucid and from what I could tell not a threat to himself, it is just that his body is failing him.

While I hold out hope for some kind of a miracle, I am pretty sure that the time for miracles is over and that it is time to accept that…

Yes, my father is dying.

There I said it.

How am I dealing with all this?

Better than I thought I would, but I am still having a bunch of different emotions and feel a bit lost about things. I want to fix this and yet, I know that there ain’t a damn thing I can do one way or the other, other than to be there if he needs me. I have a feeling that I will be riding an emotional rollercoaster for a while or at least until I get that phone call that I really don’t want to get.

I know that I will go back up there fairly soon, to watch a ball game with him and spend a bit of time reminiscing about the past. I might even take my laptop up and go through a bunch of photos that I have scanned from the old family photo albums and have him connect names to the pictures again. I think he would enjoy that, I know I would.

I just have to do it sooner than later.

Death and dying are a part of who we are as a species. However, we don’t deal well with it when it is someone close to us, even if it is their time to go. I know that I will have a hard time when my father does die, but at the same time he is starting to suffer more than he wants to deal with and it is impacting his quality of life to the point where he is ready to cross over to the other side, whatever that may be.

Yeah, it ain’t easy.

So when I got home, I moped around the house for a while and after we did the afternoon dog walk, Mary told me to go for a run and that I would probably feel better if I did.

Today was supposed to be a 3-mile tempo run with a mile warm-up/cool-down. Instead, I started out easy and figured that I would just run easy to burn off a bit of anxiety.

One problem – I wore the Nike Zoom Fly and by the time I got to the top of the hill, I decided to pick up the pace a bit going down the hill. Those shoes are ones that I just want to run fast in, so I allowed myself to go with it. When I got to 2.0 miles I faded a little but was still moving faster than usual.

The hill crushed me tonight, but I was just about to the top and I heard tires braking hard, behind me. I stopped to see what happened. A truck had just gone down the hill and evidently, a Spectrum cable guy had almost walked out in front of the truck. The truck braked hard enough that it stalled out and then the guy restarted and moved the truck down to the next driveway and stopped there. I got moving again and he was still sitting there when I topped the hill. Not a good thing.

I did pick up the pace again after that, but it did make me think about how lucky my father has been to reach 79 when many do not get that opportunity.

Mary was right, the run did help me clear my mind.

One promise that Dad did make me give him is that I would never let myself go again physically. He said one of his biggest regrets was how he allowed himself to get so far out of shape as he got older. It is a promise that I will keep for as long as I physically can.

You will notice there are no photos of him from today and I will not take any more photos of him. I prefer to remember him as he was in my mind, not how he is now. Maybe this is a naive thing on my part, but seeing him this way is not the way that I wish to remember my father.

We both have a bit of macabre sense of humor and when he started feeling better after the restaurant. I told him he couldn’t die in my truck – I like my truck too much and if he died in it and haunted me, I would have to get rid of it. We both laughed and we had some pretty good conversations after that.

In spite of everything, it was a good visit with my father. I do share more than a few of his personality traits and his name, after all, I am a Junior.

Yeah, just getting stuff out of my head…so bear with me as I flounder through this part of life.